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Hello, and welcome to Lemonade Tales! Pardon the dust while I get things rolling. I hope you enjoy the stories of inspiration, courage, and grace. I am humbled by each and every person and their personal struggles. This is the …

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Sometimes Love Is Not Enough

There are limits. Everyone has them. You usually don’t realize your limits until they have been crossed and crossed pretty far.

Fostering to adopt is not for the faint of heart. It is tough, for many reasons.

  • You need patience, tons of patience to wade through the process just to get certified
  • You need to be organized in order to complete all the paperwork and stay on top of appointments etc.
  • You need to be open to any kind of possibility. You can make lists of what is ideal all day long and sometimes that works and most times that gets thrown out the window.
  • You need to be a good communicator with your social worker and foster/adoption team to share what is going on and how things are going.
  • You need to be flexible to handle emotions, demands, appointments, interviews, trainings, delays and more.

But ultimately you need the capacity for love. Love that has no bounds, that doesn’t ask for one thing in return. That is forgiving. Of others AND yourself.

Sounds pretty simple. But fostering and adopting from the system is not simple. It is messy and complicated. It is emotional. And no matter how much you give, sometimes its not enough or what the kids’ need.

We had planned to adopt two very special foster children but due to some extraordinary circumstances… that simply was not possible. And it nearly undid my husband and I. We were so deeply saddened by this loss. Why wasn’t our love enough? Had we failed God in saving the least of these?

Many friends said very kind things like:

  • You helped them on their journey.
  • Your love and influence will always be with them.
  • Your work to help them elevate their reading levels will be something they can always carry with them.

But..why couldnt we love them to healing? Why coulnd’t we fix them? Because sometimes, God has other plans.

My priest once said to me while I was processing all of my pain and feeling like I had failed God, “Where there is love, there is God. And you loved them with everything you had. This is not failing God.” After a lot of time and deep reflection, God had other plans. He wanted the kids with us for a certain time frame. To love them, teach them, and support them. To allow them to move from our home to their forever home. Where they were meant to be. We were simply part of their journey, and they were part of ours. If we had adopted them, we wouldn’t have our Zeke. And I can’t even imagine not loving that lil’ man or knowing him. Being his mom has been the greatest gift.

So not loving enough…maybe that isn’t the truth. But being one to love them on their path is their truth.

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